I am at a loss, I am just so confused as to what I am doing. I work out nearly every day, I’ve increased my time from 45 minutes to over an hour doing cardio. I sweat, I feel great and at peace that for a little while the negative tape recordings settle down. I do eat when I get home, but I wouldn’t say it is massive amounts of food. Usually either a protein drink or bar. I’ve noticed my cravings have settled a lot, especially at night. During the day, I don’t eat much only when I get hungry, often it will be something like a piece of fruit. I drink my green tea, I know I go in waves with my water intake, but regardless I do drink at least 4 to 6 glasses a day. I can tell when I go to the bathroom that the color of my urine is faint, so I am getting enough water.
I’ve added magnesium to help with bloating and constipation (something I’ve always had trouble with). I’ve added Biotin capsules 1000mg a day because I’ve been dealing with hair loss and brittle nails. Apparently some of my problems are menopause related. (lovely).
I went to group this afternoon, expressed that I am feeling really angry and just plain miserable. The therapist said that sometimes we feel emotions and don’t know why. She also said that at times we just need to feel and not judge or try to figure out why we feel what we are. She said that it is about accepting and being in the moment. I told her that just doesn’t work for me, that knowing what the root is, helps me process and move along and let things go.
The trouble I am having is, I just don’t care. I’m not sure if it is just today or not.
Later in the day/evening a thunder storm came in. Talk about a shake, rattle and roll! It would linger and then return, the flashes of lightening were strong and vibrant. Yet, the biggest thing I noticed was a shift in my mood! As the hours went by, I noticed I started to feel lighter and lighter. The heaviness of my mood, the anger I have felt pent up for the last couple of days, had gone away. I feel as if a fog that had been hanging around, all dark and gloomy now gone.
Is it possible my moods are being controlled by the Universe?