For those that don’t know, my cousin took his own life March 18, 2012.
Sean, I was sitting in therapy today working on a trigger from the weekend, I chose to work on the subject of where I was to be on Friday evening. After breaking it down from where I was full of negative and self destructive behaviors, I felt the anxiety and nausea as if I were really back at Friday night. While I was processing this with the help of other members and with the notes I had taken, I wondered if you knew that there was hope for us! I wondered if you would have been open to learning how to do what I learned today?
I wondered if you would have realized that by the time the lesson was over, I went from feeling the highest level of anxiety which was a 10 to a 4-5! That I felt a sense of calmness and my breathing had returned to calm and normal.
I wish you knew that Sean. I wish you knew that if you didn’t know, I would have taught you what I learned today in therapy. That I would always teach you, as I understand all that you go through when the days were dark and hard. I love you and miss you always. ♥ ♥ ♥
I write my blog this way because I realized that what I was feeling about what I was going to do on Friday night and subsequently Saturday night, that the anxiety and emotions of uncertainty were probably and have most likely been felt my many people. That, when in the moment, there was no way anyone could have calmed me down, I was really caught up in my emotions and feelings at ha time.
This is something that I am slowly starting to think about when a major anxiety attack happens, I’ve not perfected the technique yet, but I’m catching on and am realizing after that there are tools that can be used to help bring a person down from the height of the moment.
I learned today that I use black and white as well as over-generalization thinking patterns. The first time I was learning this pattern, I wasn’t able to see where this information came from. Being that this is the second time I am taking this program, did help me to see where that information came from in my words.
If you are wondering what your thinking style is, take a look at this link:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-common-cognitive-distortions/
Finding My Way Back To Myself 