Where’s My Snooze Button?

I have had very little. I was exhausted yesterday afternoon and I know this was due to doing too many errands and having them culminate when my day ended a few hours later. It was also post group drop Wednesday. Wednesday’s for me can be iffy mood wise depending on how intense group was, how involved I was in that session and how much sleep I got the night before. Throw all of them together and virtually no sleep last night, you have one very grumpy, mood swinging woman today. 

I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon, I already know how I feel right now, but I am hesitant to outright cancel as I know I really want to go. However, my mind is scattered and my thoughts blank at times, this does not make a good combination for driving to where my acupuncture appointment is. I never used to think of stuff like that. How much or little sleep I got and my response time and clarity of my mind when on the road. 

My mood has been rageful, funny so has my dog as he attacked my cat this morning. Good thing I know them both well that with a rise in my voice (ok, yell) and he to his kennel, no harm done. I always forget my moods affect all around me; human and animal. 

I forced myself to do errands yesterday, primarily because my pets needed food, had it been anything else I wouldn’t have left my bed. Yet, I could hear a tiny voice pushing me to get going, to get on with my day. Somehow I don’t hear that voice getting very far with me today. My eyes are burning at the moment, another clue as to how exhausted I am.

I am anxious, my self-abuse and critic of myself is jacked up 110%. All these “little things”, that when I am feeling rested, are still there, but not on top of the pile. I know having insight is a great tool, now its the choice to either act on them, or simply acknowledge them, and remind myself to be very kind to myself, sleep if I want, and not to push myself so hard. (which I do fairly regularly).