I laughed!!


I went to Zumba tonight and I was excited! I wanted to go and listen to the beat of the music run through my body and boy did it ever! 

At first I had to reprogram my brain to which song we were doing and the moves lol. Once I started to remember, some parts came to me very easily. This excited me! I was getting it, may not be smoothly, but I’m getting it! 

F, our instructor, she just lights up a room! Her animated features and her smiles are contagious and for that it started to radiate with me. I became a little silly at times and I was ok with that, seriously, I was starting to have fun! 

I will admit, I still have trouble looking at myself in the mirror. I seriously don’t like what I see. But I realized that if I am in the middle of the room, which is also right where she is, when she faces the mirror, she blocks my view! Plus, I can count the steps and movements she does. F is really good at pointing to which foot to start with, usually in advance.  I also realized when I focused too much, things became awkward and I would stop and get a drink of water, or towel off. I know this about me, when I feel uncomfortable, I stop what I am doing and distract myself so no one else can see my awkward moves. 

But, I wanted to keep trying, I had hope that I would start to get more moves. Slowly but surely, my memory and her moves that were more cardio and less Zumba, came back to me in a blink. This gave me more encouragement. I can do this!! 

After class was over, we all chit chatted for a few minutes. I still didn’t interact too much, but I did listen and laugh. The ladies seem to be a little more relaxed as well, so there were more smiles this time. 

I checked with the front desk on a Wednesday class and the place where there is one still has spots open!! When I get part of my disability cheque, I am going to go and register because I have decided that doing Zumba twice a week and doing the half mile walk 4 to 5 days a week with our dogs, feels pretty great! The weather this morning was crisp, sunshine peaking out through the fog. 

Tonight’s shower felt pretty dam good!

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4 thoughts on “I laughed!!

  1. well done for going back and actually allowing yourself to go with it! i am glad you were able to let yourslef feel some fun!

    1. it was fun! I don’t know the last time I laughed and did something silly and laugh. I think it was in part because I didn’t “think”, I just “did”.

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