Shame and how it robs me


I am working hard on myself. All areas of my life. Some days kick my ass hard core, some days I can handle not too bad. 

I’m working on my physical shape, working on my inner self, both are starting to show the results of hard work, to which I am greatful for. 

Yet, my boyfriend and I have been invited out to see friends, and I have no interest in going. I don’t get it. So I have told him to go without me. 

I don’t know how to look past the shame within me at my core. I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel attractive. I still can’t look at myself in the mirror from my neck down.  I know that my boyfriend says people miss me and I’m sure they do, however, I just can’t seem to give myself permission to go to places where friends will be. 

I can give myself permission to go to therapy, to go to the gym, to the grocery store, but I can’t give myself permission to socialize? 

Shame, it has me really confused.

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6 thoughts on “Shame and how it robs me

  1. I can relate to this a lot. I was invited out to Rascal’s last night and really wanted to go but was too afraid. I’ve been working on my health too but still a bit too afraid to socialize. It can be frustrating.
    Hugs,
    padme

  2. I understand it must be difficult but it’s important to socialise a bit – maybe it will help you in some way? Feel good.

    1. Thank you for replying to my post. It is incredibly difficult. I wish I could understand why I can give myself permission to see my therapist, but I can’t give myself permission to see friends. I think it may surround my intense need for perfectionism.

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