Back from the Edge


I was referred to this You Tube link on Borderline Personality. I watched it with intrigue and curiosity. I wasn’t sure if it would be able to describe what my life is like.  It does and then some. 

I have attached the YouTube link because it is a video well worth the watch. Share it with everyone who is in your life, give them the chance to understand what it is like to live with BPD.

I didn’t realize that suicide is very common with this mental illness. I don’t know why this surprises me, but it does. Perhaps it is because I associate suicide with depression and bipolar. It is clear I need to be aware that mental illnesses in general have a susceptibility to not just talking about suicide, but to acting on it as well. 

Yesterday I had read that someone had gotten on one of our bridges and prepared to jump off. People were annoyed because it blocked them from going about their business in their vehicles. I had read comments from people saying how selfish it was, that if he/she really wanted to “end their life” they would have done it. Instead they saw it as attention seeking. I do not see it this way and made my thoughts known. I so wish these judgments of what that person could have been feeling at that time, weren’t based on assumptions.  Another person commented about heath care issues and had they not removed institutions, people wouldn’t be doing this. Again, I objected to this comment. 

People, whether it be BPD or depression all want to be heard. 

They need help.. and this is a desperate way to find it, but when you are at that level of despair, the last thing on your mind is what others feel. Most of all, it is not about us. If someone is on the bridge wanting to jump, it isn’t to piss us off. To think that it is about us is really off the mark.

 

excerpt from Facebook feed.

 

Learning that BPD can go into remission with people going on to live productive lives, is something I think we all strive for. I’m definitely not in this category yet. My hope is one day I will be. 

After watching the video, I felt an amount of sadness and disappointment. Disappointment in knowing my family will not be one of those people who would venture to try to understand what I live with, nor how I am learning to cope and one day move past this. 

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