Unsure thoughts

I been reflecting on something I have noticed lately when I go outside. 

Whenever I go outside, I feel and see blackness around me and it stops when I go inside my house.  I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this and we have attributed it to negative spirits. 

But I’ve wondered if it is more about my thoughts and fears around leaving my home?  When I’m in my house, I don’t see any blackness around me. I do sometimes have voices that are negative and tell me I’m not going to get better, or I’m going to always be fat so just get over it. But that’s different than what I actually see out of the corner of my eye.  I wonder if it is part of the reason that I have such difficulties with going out.

I’ve never talked about this before because I don’t want a doctor to declare me mentally incompetent and lock me up in hospital. 

The rest of me feels fine, well as fine in terms of physical health.