Yesterday while in group I had spoken of how I feel virtually nothing for my family and that when asked if I missed them, or if it scared me with the lack of feelings, I replied that after trying for so long, and repeatedly being ignored, I suspect that combined with years of domestic abuse on top of it, I no longer want to feel those feelings of longing for family.
The therapist mentioned that the love I have wanted to feel and haven’t, I have transferred to animals because they give back to me everything I have never received.
Yesterday my sister was out with my nephew at his swimming lessons. I had asked what level he was, she replied that he if he completed level 1, he will be an Orca. I was very excited for him and said I would love to watch sometime. Well, crickets entered the room and communication was instantly stopped.
This, unfortunately, is all to common in my life and I can see why my emotions are not with humans, but with animals.