Another Piece


Yesterday I wrote about if what I have been feeling is anxiety or mania, you can read about it here https://sexyonthedarkside.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/anxiety-or-mania/.

Well today at my psychiatrist appointment, I discussed what I have been writing down in my calendar journal, he has diagnosed me with Bipolar 2. We have reduced my Effexor XR to 150mgs and increased the Lamotigrine to 100mgs,

I feel like another piece of the puzzle describes why I’ve acted the way I have for years, but other than one doctor 20 years ago, where he questioned being Bipolar, no one else has. I was just diagnosed chronically depressed. I know I slipped through the cracks in the medical system, I’m not the first and sadly I won’t be the last.

I can only keep moving forward with my multi layers of labels, continue with my therapy and grow from there. I can’t change my past and the mistakes I have made, I had no control over. I own them, but I now understand my actions more than before.

My family has not shown any interest in understanding what I have lived with, they have only chosen to blame me by saying “a lot of stuff has happened and they don’t see the hurt changing anytime”. Oh well, not going to dwell on that, I’ve already lost enough time in my life.

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