Facing a demon


Yesterday at my psychiatrist appointment we spoke of a few things, including me and my eating disorder. He asked me how much or how little I eat. It was decided that I should look into a type of group that deals specifically with this. 

I spoke to my therapist and she gave me a number of a mental health that has a program. But I didn’t want to travel there, so I kept looking and found one that is closer to my home.  I called the place and the receptionist took my information down. She said that someone by the name of “E” will contact me back. 

Ever since I made that phone call, I have felt very down, very ashamed, very scared. I’ve never dealt with this head on before. I feel like there is a knot in my stomach, like I want to throw up. 

I’ve carried this demon for over 30 years. I’m scared to see what is on the other side. I know someone will tell me it is freedom, but I’m not sure I want the freedom, its not something I know or am familiar with. But I am on a personal path to wellness and I know this is a huge part of it. 

Now to wait for the phone call…. 

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