Two Paths Crossing


Yesterday I learned my boyfriend, who has been away since beginning of June, has extended his stay til the end of July. I have been very upset and frustrated over this recent news. 

See if it had been discussed with me, I would have been able to understand and accept it a bit easier, however, being told left me feeling abandoned. This reminded me of past experiences where I wasn’t “blood” or primary family and having decisions just made and no consideration to what I would think or feel came into the situation. 

I discussed this today in group and expressed my feelings about how in my past experiences, even when I am blood, my mother didn’t consider my feelings. As an adult and in a previous long term relationship, we were kinship guardians to my ex’s nephews. Suddenly and without discussion, my ex decided to go to the social worker and tell her we weren’t working out (meanwhile he was seeing someone on the side) and that he didn’t want the kids. Both situations reminded me of feelings of abandonment 

Dr. H, our psychiatrist in my group program, said it is understandable that this is bringing up past experiences. He also said that I am doing good at being able to see the reasons on both sides.
 
It was suggested that I not make him in the middle, because it is family. My response simply was I u/s but when there is NO discussion and simply being told there is a huge difference

 I don’t doubt that he loves me, that I know and feel inside. However, the reality is his parents are seniors and his dad is in his 80’s, so my reality is expecting him to move back because anyone who has been important has left.

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