Today I was hit between the eyes, everything I’ve been focused on seems small compared to what I learned.
Over the weekend I went and completed my blood tests. This morning I recieved my blood results.
I learned thay my HDL is 6.8 and my LDL is 4.4 both are high. That means my cholestorol is at a potential for serious artery issues.I fell apart; the wind had been sucked out my lungs. This goes against all I have worked towards.
My instant thoughts have been to use all my old patterns, every single one of them!!
On the advice of girlfriend who is a nutritionist and trainer, she had a class at 7pm and suggested I give it a try. I felt my heart freeze up. The voices started saying “what will people say when they see you? Don’t stand near any mirrors. I will be the only fat one wearing the most clothes”
So after a lot of talking with her, I tried the class. I didn’t stand near any mirrors, and I kept to myself. I realized my body knows a lot from muscle memory, so catching on to the movements was very easy. I didn’t care for the music, but that’s ok.
I feel very lost.