Acceptance of Kindness

I’ve been feeling very grief stricken today.  See, the reality is I do miss my family and as much as I long for them to be a healthy part of my life, I know in,my heart, that isn’t going to happen.

Finances have been hard and I have been struggling to not be anxious and fearful of going anywhere. I become anxious as I watch the guage go lower as I drive to my appointments or anywhere else. I find myself pushing the limits on how far on ‘E’ I can drive before I run out.

Today, I had to decide if I would go work out or feed my dogs. I had to decide how to make $14 cover what I wanted.

I remembered I had 2 large garbage bags which after returning them to the bottle depot, got me $6.65 plus the $14.

I now could get $10 at the cheap gas place and check out the clearance meats at the grocery store.

Karma paid me a visit today when I went to pay my bill I was short by $2.59. A man standing behind me offered to pay it for me.  I suddenly felt overwhelmed and embarrassed. I’ve been the one to give kindness to others, never expecting anything in return.

As I was near home, my neighbor and I saw one another and I pulled up to catch up. I told her what had just happened. She reminded me that there are kind people out there.

We chatted and I found myself opening up a lot more to her. Not sure why, but I did. She asked me if I wanted to borrow $100 to help me out. I told her I would but wouldnt be able to pay her back right away.

Suddenly, I blurted out and asked if she had any empties and she said yes. She offered them to me and I accepted them and tge money.

I have felt so heavy hearted, wondering what it is I have done to recieve this kindness.

Strangers and neighbors offering support, yet my bio family can’t even pick up the phone.