My birthday is on Monday, the 23rd of December, I don’t have memories of birthday parties or presents from childhood friends. Christmas, when I was a young child, I remember family, playing bingo, laughter and memories. Living with BPD, I can tell you that the last few years, I’ve spent alone, sad and depressed.
My spouse is leaving for the holidays on Sunday, to spend it with his family. I’ve put out a request to my cousin to spend Christmas dinner with her and her family.
This time of year sucks, always has for me more so as an adult, on top of BPD, my mood swings have been really severe. I’ve swung from being super angry, to feeling intense emotions on the verge of tears, yet nothing happens.
The only thing that keeps me grounded is my pets, without them, I would be nothing.