I wrote this out yesterday but I hadn’t blogged it out.

The darkness hovers over me, my secret is livid that I cracked him open. I am learning that fr a few days he subconsciously decides to upset my stomach where I am not hungry. Daytime mostly. Night time I feel anxious, I pace in my house, I say out loud “go away, just go away!” I try to eat a meal, but stop, I feel uncomfortable.

I know this is new for me. I honestly never expected or experienced many of these emotions or feelings. How long will I continue to feel this way? What do I do to get through this?

I’ve decided to stay focused on exploring these emotions, surround myself with people who understand what I’m going through and take things day by day.

When I exposed  ED I admit I never thought through the result of breaking him open and 3 days later the waves of emotions are fierce.

But I will get through to the other side one way or the other.



2 thoughts on “Reactions

  1. ED didn’t want you to reveal this because it is not a shameful secret. Many have been through ED and have beaten it – ED is angry because now you will get the support you deserve from others online and it will lose its grip on you. Reach out…there are online support groups for everything (check them out first, to make sure they are truly private and supportive.) That is why ED is trying to suck you back in. Eating disorders are hard to overcome but it can be done – one of my cousins did it. Good luck!

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