Toolkit today was about mechanical eating. Honestly, I thought that meant one ate automatically without thinking. Seems it is about learning how to become aware of how to eat in a healthy way from ED. ED likes to sabotage all the time! My group members, like me, expressed and addressed various concerns.
I have various concerns, clearly ED based. The first asked was how do you know when eating to enjoy is not a binge? Our facilitator “K” gave us 2 examples:
Subjective Binge: This feels like a binge but doesn’t feel like what a normal person would eat.
Objective Binge: This also feels like a binge but it is excessive.
The emotions often felt are numbness, guilt, frustration, anger.
How do you stop an over eating binge? You stop before the binge beings.
We are all welcome to meet with the dietician, work on a meal plan for what would be healthy for me and see how it goes. I can say that my stomach rolls with knots. I’m afraid to meet with the dietician. I saw the number calculated for how much I could be eating per day and it scares me. But I’m learning that is ED who is scared, not me.
I’m sure in time I will meet with the dietician, but not now. I struggle with just outing him and the consequences of that and realizing how ED affects my daily life.