Yesterday I was one of a few first responders on scene to a multiple car fatality. You can read more about it here http://ramblingpets.wordpress.com/2014/03/16/car-accidents-and-animals/.
I keep having visions of the deceased, I see him everywhere. I see everything about that afternoon. Friends said to take the support of Victim’s Services and call them and I have done so. I am relieved that what I am experiencing is “normal” “i.e. as a result of the trauma”.
I did look up PTSD for symptoms and ways I could help myself. I don’t know if I can help myself, I believe I can, but is this something my psychiatrist can help me with? Is this something my therapist can help me with, or is this yet another qualified person who can help me?
My moods swing, one minute scattered, and I call it “little” as in childlike in behavior; The next I feel annoyed and frustrated. Why does everything with my moods have to do with feeling angry?
Victim’s Services wanted me to know that what we did yesterday with gathering the dogs helped a lot as it meant the paramedics, fire and police department could focus more on the scene. She told me not to take that lightly, that although it may have felt minor, it really isn’t.
They say everything happens for a reason and I being a spiritual person, I have lit a candle for the deceased, his family and to the ones involved yesterday. If there is a lesson for me to be learned, I am hopeful that I will see and I will take what I need from it and go forward.
In the meantime, my processing of this tragedy has only just begun.