I know its been awhile since I have written. I have felt like I don’t have anything to contribute, but after the last little while of experiencing what I have determined to be anxiety in an extreme fashion, and my spouse said it would be a good idea to write out what is bothering me.
On my journey of healing with my eating disorder, the next step is what is called meal support. Meal support is where you meet once a week with other members and share a meal. The guidelines are that the foods come from the food groups, nothing is fat free and the meal has to be complete. Today at the grocery store I came across a lunch kit that has little tupper ware containers for your food and contents to go into. I felt the knot grow in my stomach as I touched different kinds of products. I am thinking it is because I am going to be held accountable with others, versus eating when I want and what I want.
The cramping this last week has had me in the washroom and I’ve been concerned because its been upsetting plans.
Then the changes happening around my home, have rattled my nerves, things I don’t handle very well as it is. I’ve applied some distraction techniques but things don’t always come together when you want them too.
I haven’t done any walking since Monday and I know I really miss it. I have, however, been lighting my incense because the scent helps put me in a calm place. I also did some gardening today, however, I do have some grass cutting and a central air unit that needs to be finished cleaning.