What is Self-Forgiveness?


ForgivenessYesterday, I spoke about being compassionate to ourselves. Today’s topic continues with what is self-forgiveness?

I think this is going to be a huge evaluation, because many times I haven’t forgiven myself for things I have done, often I have bottled up my feelings and have felt shame and guilt.

So what is Self-Forgiveness anyway?

Self-forgiveness is:

  • Accepting yourself as a human who has faults and makes mistakes.
  • Letting go of self anger for your past failures, errors and mistakes.
  • No longer needing penance, sorrow and regret over a grievous, self-inflicted personal offense.
  • The act of self love after you have admitted your failure, mistake or misdeed.
  • The spiritual self healing of your heart by calming self rejection, quieting the sense of failure and lightening the burden of guilt.
  • The act of letting go of the need to work so hard to make up for your past offenses (This is going to take some work for me) I have always felt like I am my own worst punisher. 

Negative consequences of the absence of self-forgiveness:

In the absence of self forgiveness, you run the risk of: 

  • Unresolved hurt, pain and suffering from self-destructive behaviors.
  • Unresolved guilt and remorse for self-inflicted offenses.
  • Chronically seeking revenge and paybacks toward yourself.
  • Being caught up in unresolved self anger, self hatred and self blaming.
  • Defensive and distant behavior with others.
  • Pessimism, negativity and non-growth oriented behavior.
  • Having a festering wound that never allows the revitalization of self healing.
  • Fear over making new mistakes or of having the old mistakes revealed.
  • Being overwhelmed by fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of non approval, low self-esteem and low self worth.

Be sure to come back tomorrow as I share Signs of the Absence of Self-Forgiveness

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7 thoughts on “What is Self-Forgiveness?

  1. Step 1. Take 100% responsibility for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that has happened in your life. This includes your childhood.
    Step 2. Now that you own it, you have power to change it. Stop viewing yourself as a victim. Victims are powerless. They cannot change anything.
    Step 3. Deal with the issues that come up surrounding your powerlessness or victimization.
    Step 4. Take breaks. Remind yourself daily that you are valid. You exist. You have a right to be here and you have something to do, be, or say.
    Step 5. Maybe drink some coffee and have a doughnut.
    Step 6. Go back to step 1 and start all over again.
    Have a good day!

    1. This too is insight and I hopeful that it has been helpful for you. Be sure to check back daily as I share the next steps to continue with learning how to be Compassionate with ourselves.

  2. I am guilty. It is even harder when the consequences of our mistakes effect others… especially our children. Unfortunately, not forgiving ourselves only creates greater issues. I look forward to learning your resolutions.

    1. Stacie, I have felt like you so many times. I have just written today’s blog “Signs of the Absence of Self-Forgiveness” , please take a read, I am hopeful you will see you aren’t alone *hugs*

  3. I have found myself in a few occasions where I couldn’t forgive myself for the decisions that I’ve made in the past. Now, when I look back, I have to say that I matured and see things diferently and those mistakes are seen now as part of life experience, something that I’ve learned from, that made me what I am today.

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