October’s a New Month – More Changes


I’m coming to realize I need structure, doesn’t seem to matter what it is, just that it has to give me a sense of purpose.

Today I took 4 garbage bags full of recycling bottles back, which actually was a lot more work than I thought it would be, but is it wrong that I thought I would see more money than I did? I even tried to tell myself, look at all you took back! Look how much you saved the planet!

Seeing the autumn leaves all around, has me starting to feel like my depression is looming. Looming because after Fall comes Winter, which comes the holidays and I am usually by myself for the holidays and everything ricochets.

I’m starting to feel my patience is low, my reactions are high and I decided to do something outside. I went to the park where it is very quiet and took my dogs so they could run. It helped some until I wanted to walk faster and my dog who is older, was more interested in sniffing every spot of grass and leaf.

I had a look at my calendar, its very bare. Next week I have a couple of appointments, but that’s it. I am not even sure what I would want to fill it up with. I am on disability and can only earn so much a month, otherwise I would be cut off.

FeelingSafe

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2 thoughts on “October’s a New Month – More Changes

  1. Thank you Alana! Here the rates are .5 cents for 1 liter, .10 fcents or larger, .20 cents for 2 liter bottles. I find besides our usage of plastic water bottles here, when I am out walking the dogs I find everything from used booze bottles to flattened cans. Today I earned $12.65 Canadian.

  2. Good for your recycling efforts! Here in upstate New York we only get 5 cents a bottle – and it is a lot of work gathering those bottles. When I lived in rural Arkansas we would walk on the unpaved road we lived on and pick up all the bottles and can people threw on to the road. It made us feel like we were doing some good, just cleaning up the trash. Living as I do in upstate New York, it is hard not to let the coming of winter depress me. I find being in nature helps me out but once the snow falls that goes away, for me. I haven’t had a depressive episode in several years now (and knock wood), but I seem to be prone to depression in November. It may be a combination of cloudy weather (common, here, in November) and the shrinking day lengths.

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