Working through bad feelings – Mental Health


My emotions are surface; a moment they are full of rage and anger; the next tears are welling up at moments of unexpectedness.

Here in Canada, Monday is Thanksgiving. It is the start of the major Holiday season. I do not do well with holidays period. Holidays have represented family, family get togethers, family traditions, a time where everyone was together, even if they didn’t like the other, they still were there.

I don’t have that anymore. In fact, I seldom see my family or have dinner with them. When I speak of family I mean my immediate family. My cousins etc., I do hear from fairly often via social media.

Recently I had a connection with my family and it felt nice. It was strange and at first uncomfortable, because I have been on my own for so long, that I wasn’t sure I could trust. It appears it is short lived. As much as I reminded myself that I wouldn’t get my hopes up for an invitation to spend some time with my family, I am disappointed. I reminded myself several times that I did not want to go back into the past and be the woman who sat in tears hoping and praying the phone would ring.

I’m not going to lie the tears I felt yesterday and today (especially the ones today), I’m not 100% sure what they are over.

I did go look at my list of things that I could do physically to help get the emotions out of my body.

  • I chose to rip newspapers
  • I chose to cook dinner
  • I chose to walk all 3 of my dogs one at a time (I began to feel each foot placement and visualize the anger leaving)
  • I chose to write in my offline journal
  • I chose to clean my blinds with Clorox wipes (wow did they need it!)
  • I chose to continue with a novel I’ve been reading and have already chosen the next one.

I just need to remind myself it is just another day and I will get through it. If I need to reach out to someone I know I can.

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6 thoughts on “Working through bad feelings – Mental Health

  1. I really do hate to disagree with someone else’s advice but I just have to put my two cents in here. I think that tamalabaldwins’s advice is coming from the right place but could possibly be harmful. What i took from the advice is to not write about the feeling, try not to think about them basically. This is one of the reasons mental illness has such a hold on so many people, because when the bad feelings come people try to ignore them until they go away. I actually think you’re doing the right thing in trying to figure it all out and by writing about the bad feelings, the more you write about it and analyze things the better insight you will have into these feelings and the better chance you have of finding out what is behind these behaviours and dealing with the root cause. Of course there is a point where you have to try and pick yourself up and move on but if this is an ongoing thing then there will be a reason behind it, and the only way you will figure it out is by going THROUGH the feelings, thinking about it, writing and analyzing, talking to others and so on. I wish you all the very best and I hope tamala isn’t too pissed off that i disagree with her!

    1. Thank you. I haven’t been able to reply to tamals post simply because I didn’t know what to say. When I first read it, I knew exactly what you shared and saying that her comments were perhaps indicating that I hide my feelings or bury them.

      I can only keep moving forward, that’s all I can do. However, learning how to keep putting positive tools in place helps. I’m realizing that the trigger is feelings of abandonment stir alot of this pot and as I continue my journey to wellness, so to will my healing.

      1. Yeah abandonment was a huge trigger for me for the longest time, it’s still a sore subject but I’ve been dealing with a lot of my past trauma which has helped me no end with the abandonment issues I have. Obviously it’s a bad idea to bathe in the sadness and let it consume you but you definitely need to feel it all and work through it to conquer it, I’ve done it myself and it’s hard work but so so worth it. I wish you endless best wishes and strength for what you have to go through, you can do it! 🙂

  2. I think it’s wonderful that you are working with your emotions. However I’ve learned that writing about them only magnify them. Whenever I feel gloomy I try to give them as little energy as possible…. I write the opposite of what I feel… I speak the opposite of what I feel. What we pay attention to we create more of….. so though this may feel cathartic… don’t try to write too much about your gloom. It will only make them linger longer and these emotions are not your friends.

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