Today in group, we discussed among many topics, “When I feel out of control I want to”
When I feel out of control I want to throw everything that is in my path (object wise)
I want to scream
I want to run as far as my legs and body will take me
I want to stand in front of my mom and sister and ask why they didn’t protect me. Why didn’t they stop the abuse?
I want to pull my eating disorder from my body/mind/soul and crush him.
I want to grieve and cry at what I’ve lost.
When I observe my body’s reactions:
Rage: How intense I feel
Vibrate: the shaking of my hands
: holding a smooth rock between my fingers to occupy
Anger: Waking up with rage – frustrated with everything
Anxious: The fear of what will I do with my energy; at times I’ve rocked back and forth
Powerlessness: to the feelings of binge/restrictive eating