Anger


anger1Did you know there are two types of Anger?

  1. Healthy Anger
  2. Harmful Anger

I don’t know about you, but I have never heard of anything like this before. Growing up anger was anger, usually followed by some type of punishment. I am still trying to wrap my head around this.

Healthy Anger: Is when anger is expressed out of caring or respect and a desire to restore a relationship or resolving a problem. Attack the problem, not the person.

This, is something I need time to process, how do you respect anger?

Harmful Anger: When expressed out of a desire to seek revenge, get even, hurt or attack the person without concern for the relationship or resolving a problem.

This type of anger is what I feel the most and more importantly when I feel resentment and hurt. I know it is going to take time to learn how to remove my resentment and hurt for things that happened years ago. These are very painful moments, that are final and can never be changed.

The other thing I have become aware of is that anger and aggression are significantly different.

  1. Anger refers to an emotional state consisting of feelings that vary in intensity from mild irritation or annoyance to intense fury and rage.
  2. Aggression refers to a set of behavior traits directed at destroying objects and injuring or punishing people.
  • We often do not draw a distinction
  • Aggression is one type of anger expression
  • Aggression is almost always destructive

Well I can honestly say I have been more aggressive than just angry. I struggle with rage and destruction.

What kind of anger behavior are you?

anger2

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3 thoughts on “Anger

  1. Anger is one of those things we all have to deal with in ourselves and in others. I love the way you separated aggression. Healthy anger is useful, but aggression complicates things.

  2. Hi, well I can understand how anyone would think there can’t be a “good” type of anger. Not knowing your religious affiliation, but when I first encountered this same principle about “good” anger and “bad” anger was in the story of Jesus in the Temple when he threw out the money changers. It was exactly what you described as Healthy Anger. This discovery is great – but as we all know anger is anger. If you kill someone in self-defence or you kill someone premeditated you still kill them right? Just my two cents from a UBC visitor

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