Today has been an emotionally rough one for me. I woke up to one of my dogs having an accident on our bed (something that has been happening frequently. We are thinking she is having a leaky bladder issue). It was the 3rd time in last couple of days. THEN our washing machine has been causing us problems. It keeps saying there is a sensory error. So we have to wait for the door to unlock, then drain it manually and then put the laundry back in piece by piece to let it rinse and spin, usually with no problems. Not today, today has been the worst we’ve had problems.
I took my dogs to the park because I was feeling my anger boil and I wanted to yell and scream it out. I kept hearing the Serenity Prayer in my head; the part about accepting things I cannot change and while true, it was a helpful tool.
When I am manic, like I am today, I sweep floors constantly, I see dirt everywhere, nothing goes missed. I’m short fused so things big or small affect me; I hate it.
Body wise I have noticed my heart beating faster; my adrenaline hasn’t come down at all. My appetite is fleeting, one minute I think I want to eat, try to eat and then not hungry. My body has been vibrating all day. Any time I go to grab anything my hands shake, this has been going on for a while now, I have spoken to my psychiatrist and all he has said is that sometimes it can be caused by medication. I have noticed since my walk with my dogs, anytime I remove my feet from being flat footed, they vibrate.
After a spell of mania, I usually crash and become very tired; sometimes depressed.