She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful. –  Terri St. Cloud

Today I experienced something, something very profound that it caught me by surrprise.

It was my grandmother. During my book club group followed by art therapy session, I was participating in a topic and revealed my troubles with isolation and social anxiety.  It became apparent to me that from the months of October through to January is very family orientated holdays. This is where my grandparents come to mind.

From an early age you were always there for me, you provided comfort, security, love, compassion, safety and trust. I don’t see you through rose colored glasses, I see you showing me what it meant to be a family. No family is perfect, but what I did see my ability to be a child, something I didn’t have much of.

For years I have felt that I didn’t know what love was, today it was revealed to me, that you gave that to me unconditionally …..thank you.

This step today is so significant that I had to blog about it because the intensity of the emotions i felt created an uncomfortable vulnerability. I chose to speak to someone about this as I wanted to address the uncomfortable feelings had I not addressed this I know that my eating disorder behavior would have had a path to take over my thoughts with negative ones.