Loyalty


Atychiphobia – Its is also the fear of failure.

I don’t know if this an attribute to my mental health issues or not, but ever since I was a child, there are some things I am fiercely loyal to, one of them was my father and keeping his last name when my mother asked if I would like to be adopted by our step father. I felt that I would be dishonoring my father and his memory, I also said that I would only change my name when I got married.

I am now feeling anxious at the thought of going back to karate.I have always felt this intense loyalty to my craft in that going to another dojo would be wrong and be disrespectful to my Sensei and my fellow members. I think this may have more to do with feeling comfortable and being in familiar surroundings or is it something else? As I type this, I feel my heartbeat increasing, butterflies in my stomach, just a very uncomfortable feeling and I don’t like it.

How do I overcome this fear of change?

I am really troubled by these feelings and feeling trapped and isolated within myself. Perhaps my trauma therapist or counsellor can help me figure this out?

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