Ugh! I have been sick for almost a week, went to the doctor…. yep sinus and laryngitis YIPPEE! NOT!
Its a challenge because my eating disorder starts gnawing inside my head about how I need to continue to exercise even while sick, that taking care of me is not acceptable. This is the same behavior I had when I worked full time. My mental health has always taken a seat behind everything else; just like my childhood and most of my adult life I’ve always belittled myself, or others have, thankfully I am recognizing more the signs and now I work on compromising more with myself. Its still hard to not give into my eating disorder, but I just have to keep practicing healthy behavior and communicate as much as I can.
Next week is Thanksgiving, not sure what we are doing yet, if anything at all. I’m thinking of asking my girlfriend what she and her son are doing; maybe we co combine and have a dinner. Holidays become hard for me as they probably do for many; I am going to try very hard to focus on what I can do, even when my social anxiety/isolation kicks in; when that happens, it really feels like the walls are closing in on me. Depression also happens, and that is one that I have struggled with for many years. I am hoping the tools I am learning, combined with making sure to take my dogs out everyday helps me to get fresh air and some kind of exercise. I do miss using my treadmill right now, I’m hoping once my medication is more into my system, that I can go back to it later in the week.
My psychiatrist removed one of my medications last week, I’ve just started to not take it, but I am encouraged that I am down one less mood medication; I already take 2 now plus that one previously.
So one step in front of the other……