This entire day has been an eye opener. It has left me feeling broken, threatened, anxious and overwhelmed. I’ve started to realize that the core of my issues come from my childhood. Stuff that I didn’t even think about till I’m in my therapy session and it is during a quiet moment that the thoughts come to me, asking me to talk about them. It isn’t easy…..
That trauma from a major surgery years ago, can cause psychological problems now blows my mind. To feel like I’m broken, like a jigsaw puzzle, pieces that stay the same and some that change. However like the sky, pieces will get bigger, as it does at night.
Finding My Way Back is the title of my blog and I guess this is yet another way towards doing that. But feeling broken, ashamed and like a failure there’s no feeling like it. Even when you know the feelings and fears aren’t of your doing, I’m left with the result that I hope will work itself out with therapy.
This affects all my relationships as I have fears of emotional attachment to I back away. My therapist says it is my way of taking control. I also don’t like to feel needy to anyone. Yet my therapist said that feeling needy is also a positive way to feel vulnerable.
I’m at a crossroad.