Overwhelmed and feeling Depressed

GreenWelcomeI know I am remiss in keeping my blog up to date. This week has been busy with group dialogue and learning. Between learning how to ground when you feel anxious, to where on a scale of 1 to 10 not to mention learning what defense mechanism that may function with my eating disorder, I just needed some time to process and by process I mean, not look at anything til today.

I’ve been reading 50 Shades of Grey and I know why I am, it is to escape and let my brain relax. I’ve read books 2 and 3 and saw the movie on Valentine’s Day with my love. Now, I’m reading Book 1. I know, I’m weird lol, but for me now I can visually see the actors in all their parts, plus I can see what the movie didn’t include.

I digress.

I hit a car last weekend. I should reiterate, I hit the bumper as I was reversing backwards to the road, I didn’t realize at first and when I was notified I went and returned to where it happened. It will be handled though my insurance, just not thrilled that even though my liability will take care of everything, it does mean it will go up :(.

Yesterday, I was short fused and I could feel it. Everything has been irritating me and I hate it when this happens. Especially when I don’t know exactly why.

I am worried about one of my dogs. She’s 13 and has started showing signs of what I am quite sure is a seizure. They have happened when I’ve been there and have attended to her. She has been in good health to this point, albeit a cough, but otherwise fine. I will be making arrangements to have her to the vet to get a blood test to see if she is lacking anywhere in nutrients; but at this point I’m confident this is neurological; which can be treated usually with medication and a change in some areas of her diet. Given she is fed a raw diet, its usually just a slight adjustment.

I hope you all are having a great weekend!



November is Adopt a Senior Month

For me, I love having an older dog. Maybe its because they are so often forgotten in the over populated shelters, or perhaps it is because they need love and attention, like I do. Either way you look at it, as much as I love puppies, they are a lot like having a toddler and honestly I don’t have the energy all the time to be watching for every little thing they can and will get into.

Below is a list of reasons why it is an excellent idea to adopt a senior dog.

10 Great Reasons to Open Your Heart to a Senior Pet

  1. Older dogs have manners. Unlike puppies, many grown-up dogs have spent years living with a family and being socialized to life with humans.

    They may have received obedience training and respond to commands like Sit, Stay, and Down.

    Many are house trained and it takes a matter of hours or a day or two to help them learn the potty rules in their new home.

  2. Senior pets are less destructive. Most older adoptive pets are well past the search-and-destroy phase.

    You don’t need to worry so much about finding your favorite pair of shoes or a table leg chewed beyond recognition. Chances are your senior kitty has no urge to overturn your potted plant or shred the handmade quilt your grandma gave you.

  3. What you see is what you get. A senior pet holds no surprises as to how big he might get, what color his adult coat will be, or whether his hips will be healthy. A senior pet comes to you with his own history, which makes his future much more predictable than that of an 8-week old puppy or kitten.
  4. You can teach an old dog new tricks. Adult dogs can focus on the task at hand (unlike many of their much younger counterparts). If your adopted older pet needs to learn a few things in her new life with you, not to worry. Enroll her in an obedience class, contact a trainer, or go the do-it-yourself route. Older dogs are more attentive than puppies, and more eager to please their humans.
  5. You can custom order your senior pet. If you’re looking for a short-haired cat, for example, or a kitty with no history of dental disease, you can search until you find an older pet with exactly those attributes. If you already have a cat and need your adoptive dog to get along with cats, again, you’ll have a much better chance of finding an older adoptive dog who is a perfect companion for your family.
  6. You can adopt a purebred pet if you want. If you really love a certain breed of dog or cat, chances are there’s a breed rescue club that can point you in the direction of older purebred pets in need of homes.
  7. Senior pets are great company for senior citizens. Many elderly people find the calm presence of an older pet very comforting. They appreciate having a companion who is also ‘getting up there’ in age, doesn’t mind hearing the same stories again and again, and is content to move through life at a slower speed.
  8. Older pets are relaxing to hang out with. Senior dogs and cats have all the basics down and aren’t full of wild energy to burn. Because you’re not constantly chasing around or cleaning up after your older pet, you have a lot more time to spend finding fun things to do or just relaxing together.
  9. Adopted senior pets are grateful for your kindness. Somehow, older pets seem to know you gave them a home when no one else would. Many new owners form a close bond very quickly with their senior dog or cat, because the pet shows them a level of attention and devotion that is unique to older adopted animals.
  10. You can be a hero to a deserving dog or cat. Almost without exception, people who adopt older animals feel a special sense of pride and purpose in opening their heart to a hard-to-place pet. Doing a good thing really does make you feel good!

Article provided by http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2012/02/15/benefits-of-adopting-an-older-pet.aspx?x_cid=20141101_ranart_benefits-of-adopting-an-older-pet_facebookpets


Meet our girl Tika, she is our adopted 12 year old Chi/JRT


Our other adopted sweetheart is Lucy, she is 8 years old

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Our boy Blaze who is 9 years old

Have a great Sunday! Please remember to ADOPT NOT SHOP!!

Birthdays, Christmas and BPD

My birthday is on Monday, the 23rd of December, I don’t have memories of birthday parties or presents from childhood friends. Christmas, when I was a young child, I remember family, playing bingo, laughter and memories. Living with BPD, I can tell you that the last few years, I’ve spent alone, sad and depressed.

My spouse is leaving for the holidays on Sunday, to spend it with his family. I’ve put out a request to my cousin to spend Christmas dinner with her and her family.

This time of year sucks, always has for me more so as an adult, on top of BPD, my mood swings have been really severe. I’ve swung from being super angry, to feeling intense emotions on the verge of tears, yet nothing happens.

The only thing that keeps me grounded is my pets, without them, I would be nothing.


In Patient

I saw my psychiatrist (in his office) last Thursday. We meet every two weeks for medication check and just to see how I am doing. He noticed right away that I look tired. I said that I have been having troubles with broken sleep, feeling overwhelmed and just generally miserable. 

He asked me if I would consider going into hospital for 10 to 14 days. Dr. M said that it would be next week (so this week), til I could get a bed, but he feels that I could get some much needed rest and my medications can be better monitored and if it is decided I am not on the right one, it can be figured out better there. 

My problem is I know it takes longer than about 14 days to figure medications out. I also know that there has been advancement in medication for mental illness whereby some aren’t taking months before you know for sure that they are indeed working. 

My other problem is I hate taking sleeping medication, especially in hospital! Most of them give me a drug hang over and for me it is at least it doesn’t wear off til bout 2pm. So that means all of my morning is wasted on being foggy and hazy. Plus, if I am meeting with the psychiatrist, I won’t be alert and I do not want to give them reason to keep me longer. 

Thirdly, I have fur kids, many of them to be exact. While I have looked into boarding, it will be very expensive. Yes, I realize I am putting others before myself, but I do have to use my common sense here. 

Fourth, I have the program for my eating disorder starting in September and I don’t want my in patient stay jeopardize my chance to enter the program. My fear is if I have been in the hospital that I won’t be able to go to the program. I know there are some group therapy programs, that if you have been in the hospital, they won’t let you do group for a period of so many days. 

I’m supposed to meet with my psychiatrist Tuesday, next week. 

Fundraising for Lexi


Lexi was surrendered to our Organization – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Out-of-the-Dog-House-Rescue/208585425901723?fref=ts Out of the Dog House Rescue. She has been neglected and after her visit with our vet May 7, 2013, she is going to need surgery to remove stones in her bladder, if we don’t have them removed, she will continue to bleed when she urinates. She needs to have teeth extracted as they are rotten.

Won’t you please find it in your heart to donate to a very worthwhile cause? To be able to give Lexi the opportunity to live her life to the fullest. She is 5 1/2 years old and was locked in a bedroom only to be let out for bathroom breaks. She is incredibly loving and has been doing very well with her foster family and her pets. Lexi, does have an interest in the cats, but given everything she has gone through, she has been doing very very well. She walks well on a leash, she does listen to instructions. She is very cuddly and loves car rides LOL!

Originally posted on Wags and Wiggles page on Facebook and blogged on Rambling Pets https://www.facebook.com/pages/Out-of-the-Dog-House-Rescue/208585425901723?fref=ts

To donate please go to

Grab our Widget, help spread the word

Thank you so very much~!


Emotional Neglect

Emotional neglect – something I never saw my family do to me growing up. I admit I’ve been angry most of my life around my mother and her lack of parenting but neglectful, I never put those words into place, until today. 

I started group today by discussing that my conversations with a relative have revealed that she never knew about my mental illnesses. I know there is steady communication between my bio mom and this relation, especially on Facebook as she does live far away.

In my morning group, I went on further to reveal that growing up my bio mom treated me like I was invisible. After thinking on this some more, I have come to realize my mother most likely resented me because I chose to maintain a relationship with my father’s family after his passing 37 years ago.  I remember the arguments about how my grandparents refused to let my father die or that mother was very angry that I stood strong against any words used negatively against dad’s side of the family.

My mother was of the mindset that dad is dead, we are moving on, end of story. BUT she didn’t take into consideration what the needs of a 7 year old girl were during this time.

I explained to the group that the adult “me” who is present and understands right and wrong, is the one who has to soothe the little girl in me. That it is especially difficult around the holidays, birthdays, summer time camping trips, and other holidays that I see happen on my sister’s FB wall. I did mention that my boyfriend and I can’t afford both of us to travel to Texas twice a year, where he goes to see his children; so a lot of times I am by myself and its a “skype” Christmas. 

I feel a lot of emotions in my stomach and I am not sure if they will come out of me or not. What that looks like, I’m not sure if it is by crying or by rage. At the end of the day, “C” said I have to find a way to accept that my mother did the best she could with the tools she had; even though that was clearly not enough. We spoke on Radical Acceptance. He agrees, this is no doubt very painful and I’m not sure what to do with this stuff that has surfaced today. 

I wonder if what I am feeling is grieving? That I am grieving what I didn’t get as a child? What I feel isn’t anger, it is sadness. I feel sad that this little girl inside of me, who has attached herself to the animals we have in our home, as a means of filling her emotional needs. 

Maybe I need to go to the gym? Ahhh, I dunno, to be honest what I need, other than a cup of tea that has been so thoughtfully given to me by my very loving boyfriend. 



Daddy Says…..

Daddy has called Mama
“dog whisperer” a few times. We was wonderin’ what he meant by dat so mama asked him. 

Daddy says that mama understands animals deeper than just the surface. Hmmm, so we as a pack barked about dis and we all agreed. Mama does have dis special way of understanding all animals. She always seems to know how to lub us, she always seems to know what we all need. She is one of the bestest people when it comes to doing a rescue. She just knows what we need when we first meet. 

Before you assume that mama runs her pack by the man who is known as the “Dog Whisperer”. She doesn’t, she uses her instincts and common sense. Mama doesn’t believe in using force, she believes in using love and understanding. When we are scared, she uses her soft voice. When we are angry, she uses encouraging words and will wait things out til we aren’t angry anymore. When she is teaching us something, she uses one word commands. She isn’t afraid to come down to our level whether it be on grass or in dirt and  play with us; she sits up with us at night when we aren’t ourselves. She loves to give cuddles and snuggles, never worries if we get dog hair on the bed.

May you all be blessed to have someone who lubs you as much as our mama does.