I’m coming to realize I need structure, doesn’t seem to matter what it is, just that it has to give me a sense of purpose.
Today I took 4 garbage bags full of recycling bottles back, which actually was a lot more work than I thought it would be, but is it wrong that I thought I would see more money than I did? I even tried to tell myself, look at all you took back! Look how much you saved the planet!
Seeing the autumn leaves all around, has me starting to feel like my depression is looming. Looming because after Fall comes Winter, which comes the holidays and I am usually by myself for the holidays and everything ricochets.
I’m starting to feel my patience is low, my reactions are high and I decided to do something outside. I went to the park where it is very quiet and took my dogs so they could run. It helped some until I wanted to walk faster and my dog who is older, was more interested in sniffing every spot of grass and leaf.
I had a look at my calendar, its very bare. Next week I have a couple of appointments, but that’s it. I am not even sure what I would want to fill it up with. I am on disability and can only earn so much a month, otherwise I would be cut off.
As many of my followers know, I’ve really struggled for about 3 months or so with lack of sleep and routine.
I’ve come to realize very quickly, that without support whether it be from my spouse, friends or family, I fall apart very quickly. Lack of sleep has been a huge problem for me, however, with my spouse’s suggestion of kennel training our dogs at meal times with the intent of having them sleep in there, which thereby releases the problem of having them sleep with us, thereby giving us more room on our bed to sleep.
My spouse also helped by resetting up our spare bedroom so if I have to move in there to get some much needed sleep, I can. It has made a huge amount of difference.
I also went and saw my chiropractor yesterday as I have been having troubles with numbness in my foot at my toes. He did a full body assessment and adjustment. He focused on my knee(s) as they have been aching when I bend down and get up; turns out there is some tendinitis and have to use a cold pack and take advil when inflamed.
As for my foot, he did an adjustment with both ankles and said that the numbness should go away. If it doesn’t it could be due to blood sugar and/or circulation. However, I am happy to go and see him in a month’s time or if earlier if it is necessary.
All I can say is I feel so much better. My toe is still feeling weird, but I do know that after an adjustment, some body parts settle down right away and some time take a bit.
This morning I can feel the numbness in only one toe, versus three, so that is progress.
I am also in the early stages of working with a nutritional therapist who happens to be a good friend. I just filled out a lengthy questionnaire and emailed it back to her. She has replied with support and information that she will be able to get me on the right track. I am going to meet with her hopefully on Thursday.